B.A.M.F Athletics

Another post from the road. This one’s a little on the vitriolic side, quite unintentionally.

Part I is about diet.
Part II will be on training.

At some point a couple of weeks ago I found myself standing in my kitchen shouting “YES!” at the top of my lungs at my speakers. Note I used an exclamation mark. I never do that. That illustrates the fervour with which I was annunciating. I was hollering at Greg Everett. Well, I was hollering at his voice, coming out of my speakers. It was episode 81 of the Paleo Solution podcast. The one on Orthorexia Nervosa, at the point where Greg takes exception to some cunt bleating about people who ‘obsess’ about eating a ridiculously healthy diet and don’t deviate from it. Like they somehow have an eating disorder.

That is my eating disorder. Side effects can include, but are not limited to:

• Getting Leaner
• Increased Muscle Mass
• Increased Strength
• Better Athletic Performance
• Improved Immune Response

Poor me. Poor anyone who suffers the same disorder, that’s all I can say. While I watch people my age get fatter and weaker, they say I should chill out with my Paleo ‘obsession’. That and the lifting (like 4.5 hours a week is a lot). I should live a little. Mellow. Eat some pizza every so often. Or bread. Or cake. Smoke some crack (not really).

As Greg said (paraphrasing) this is the sound of the mediocre trying to drag us down to their level. It’s none of their business. Since when has anyone aspired to be middle of the road? Never. It seems, however, a great many people find themselves there. They find themselves there and they don’t like it.

I see this more as I get older. People settling for relationships / jobs / lives that they’d rather not be in, but don’t have the fucking sack to change. This is none of my business. I see it, I say nothing. It is their choice.

So then, why the fuck do I get nothing but questions about why I ‘waste my time’ in the purposeless pursuit of lifting heavy things up? What’s the point of having a strict diet that cuts out so many food options? Why WHY WHY?

Well, let’s see. Some of it’s aspirational. I have no athletic background. No genetic predisposition to greatness. I have the ability to read, learn and use an Internet connection. This has allowed me to observe people bigger, stronger, faster and smarter than me to make a case – a compelling case – for that which I pursue. I wish to get stronger and healthier as I get older. I do not wish to slide into decrepitude like the people I observe, people I love, around me. I wish to ceaselessly learn and attempt to teach anyone who will listen that it is not a fad to be either healthy or strong. In fact, as far as I’m concerned, these are the same thing.

Strengthy? Healthong? Hmmm.

Now. Is my diet restrictive? Yes. It restricts one from eating foods that will hamper performance. Am I constrained only to eat certain things? This depends on your point of view. Here’s my take. THINGS I’M ALLERGIC TO ARE NOT TO BE CONSIDERED FOOD. Nor, for that matter, should be anything that was once something else, especially if it was either previously inedible / indigestible, or pulverised factory farmed animal now featuring in a crusty bite-sized gluten pellet. Aye, that’s right.

So. I can’t consume dairy. I can’t eat gluten. My life is so tough. Waah. Once people start to understand that they walk around feeling like minced bullshit on a daily basis, perhaps they’ll realise that eating shite isn’t a good idea. Sure, it’s fun and normal. The sooner the realisation comes down that they are eating items unfit for human consumption (or digestion) the sooner they may realise that the guy sitting in work with his ‘box of ingredients’, who just happens to be one of the oldest, leanest, certainly the strongest, who has never taken a sick day, seldom gets even a cold might not be in misery with his ‘restricted diet’. It might be that the only misery he faces is why people will incessantly question him, while at the same time bemoaning the fact he is always talking about it.

Now. You can read that previous paragraph in two ways. There’s a right way and a wrong way. The right way is:

“Look! I am strong, lean and healthy. You should try this!”

The wrong way is:

“Look! I am stronger, leaner and healthier than you. This makes me superior to you. In every way. You should feel inferior. Why? Because you are. In every way.”

I think that’s what people get. They’re either on your team or they hate you. It’s unavoidable. This is the problem when a regular person appears irregular. I think that’s what’s hard to get. These trundling Medio-crites see someone who will attempt to change their life for the better and take instant exception to it.

Not so with an athlete. Athletes are expected to strive to perform as well as they possibly can. If an athlete had a performance-based diet, nobody would think twice about it.

For many years I’ve been accused of being hardcore. Compared to what? A fucking cream egg? I could list pretty much every one of the @BAMFathletics or the @craigzielinski followers, and the people I follow with those accounts and tell you exactly how many ways they are hardcorer (that’s right) than I. People like you. YOU. You’re reading this right now and sitting there with a better deadlift, a better Fran time, a quicker marathon, a greater mind for 80′s movies, the ability to play guitar, a better knowledge of fucking UNIX – something. I may be a little jealous of that. Rather than hate you for it, I aspire to be like you. You keep me going. I think you are RAD.

Rubbish people can’t do this. They just can’t. They will hate you for what you are.

Fuck those people.

The ‘everything in moderation’ argument – which I have heard throughout my life – is the sole refrain of the underpowered. Those that lack the drive to change their situation, regardless of how much encouragement, information or horsepower you offer them.

Don’t listen to them. Never let them convince you to go nowhere.

Stay Badassed.

Hey kids,

Welcome to the B.A.M.F Athletics B.A.M.F 30.

What is it? It’s a 30-day strict Paleo intervention to strip out all the nonsense you eat, based on the Whole9 Whole30, which is based on Robb Wolf’s 30 day challenge, which is based on pure common sense.

First off, check out the Whole30 rules.

Here’s an excerpt:

More importantly, here’s what NOT to eat during the duration of your Whole30 program. Omitting all of these foods and beverages will help you regain your healthy metabolism, reduce systemic inflammation, and help you discover how these foods are truly impacting your health, fitness and quality of life.

• Do not consume added sugar of any kind, real or artificial. No maple syrup, honey, agave nectar, Splenda, Equal, Nutrasweet, xylitol, stevia, etc. Read your labels, because companies sneak sugar into products in all kinds of ways.

• Do not eat processed foods. This includes protein shakes, pre-packaged snacks/meals, protein bars, milk substitutes, etc.

• Do not drink alcohol, in any form.

• Do not eat grains. This includes (but is not limited to) wheat, rye, barley, millet, oats, corn, rice, sprouted grains and all of those gluten-free pseudo-grains like quinoa. (Yes, we said corn!) This also includes all the ways we add wheat, corn and rice into our foods in the form of bran, germ, starch and so on. Again, read your labels.

• Do not eat legumes. This includes beans (black, kidney, lima, etc.), peas, lentils, and peanuts or peanut butter. This also includes all forms of soy – soy sauce, miso, tofu, tempeh, edamame, and all the ways we sneak soy into foods (like lecithin).

• Do not eat dairy. This includes all cow, goat or sheep’s milk, cream, butter, cheese, yogurt, whey, ice cream, etc.

• Do not eat white potatoes. It’s arbitrary, but they are carbohydrate-dense and nutrient poor, and also a nightshade.

• Most importantly… do not try to shove your old, unhealthy diet into a shiny new Whole30 mold. This means no “Paleo-fying” less-than-healthy recipes – no “Paleo” pancakes, “Paleo” pizza, “Paleo” fudge or “Paleo” ice cream. Don’t mimic poor food choices during your Whole30 program!

One last and final rule. You are not allowed to step on the scale for the duration of your Whole30 program. This is about so much more than just weight loss, and to focus only on your body composition means you’ll miss out on the most dramatic (and lifelong) benefits this plan has to offer. Give yourself a well-deserved, long overdue break from fixating on that number on the scale! Absolutely NO weighing yourself or taking comparative measurements during your Whole30.

Read the full document and get your head around it. Or, if you’re a pervert, download the PDF.

Next, here’s some little extras for the B.A.M.F 30 (#BAMF30 on Twitter)

The way I feel, the Whole30 doesn’t go quite far enough, so let’s see how hard you can test yourself with the following:

• Completely avoid eating nuts of any kind. Need fat? Enjoy the fat on the meat you eat, the fat you cook in and AVOCADOS. Here’s an awesome breakdown from Diane at Balance Bites (danger it’s a PDF) – Fats & Oils.

• Completely avoid caffeinated drinks. Everything should be decaf. Knock that stupid habit on the head. If you must drink coffee (like me) find some tasty decaf. It exists. Hell, I can’t tell the difference in Starbucks any more. You can get green tea, black tea, white tea and coffee all decaffeinated. It’s awesome.

• Avoid chicken and pork as much as possible. Now, this might sound MENTAL, but there is a very large quantity of N-6 (Omega 6) in chicken (especially chicken skin) and pork (especially pork fat). Grass eating animals are a much better way to go. Now, we’re on a budget, I realise that. When in the supermarket just try to aim for meats that are *more likely* to be eating grass than grain. Lamb is a great one. Beef is next in line. If you must eat chicken, discard that skin. Pork? Trim off all the fat you can see and bolster it with some healthy fats if need be.

• Mix it up. Don’t just fucking buy broccoli. Get adventurous. Oven bake some kale with olive oil and salt. Fry brussels sprouts in coconut oil after part-steaming them so they are crunchy and interesting rather that soggy and sulphuric. Google your ass off when you buy a new cut of meat or some crazy type of veg and create an interesting meal.

• Completely avoid fruit juices of any kind. You may as well drink coke. Check out Dr. Robert Lustig’s 89 minute talk on fructose.

• Avoid fruit. You don’t need to eat fruit. There are all the vitamins you need in meat and vegetables (see below for carbs).

• Stop taking stupid supplements. With the exception of:
  • Vitamin D
  • Fermented Cod Liver Oil
  • Fish Oil
  • Magnesium
  • Iodine
  • BCAA’s

I may have missed some out, but you get the idea. Nobody needs protein shakes.

Questions and caveats:

• Need more carbs? (metconoholics and endurance athletes) – eat more ROOT tubers. Not stem tubers. ROOT TUBERS. Yams. Sweet potatoes. That kind of thing.

• Have a strength meet / competition coming up and need to gain / maintain large mass? Have some post workout (PWO) goat’s milk, raw if possible. Shit’s ANABOLIC. You’re supposed to have no dairy whatsoever. This is the only allowable window and reason to do so – if you are prepping for a comp or on a mass gain cycle ONLY. I call this The Power Athlete Caveat.

• Got kids / family / no time? Oh grow up. So does Sarah Fragoso, and she manages to write a blog, run a podcast and WRITE A BOOK over at Every Day Paleo.

That about wraps it up I think. Any questions, get them asked on the site. Let’s DO THIS.

Craig.

It’s been a while, but B.A.M.F Athletics has been pulled from its slumber by the impetus to assist.

A recent Twitter conversation with Gary resulted in a fairly substantial (albeit quick and easy) change to the website. Gary was thinking about taking part in Whole9‘s Whole30 – a 30 day super strict Paleo experiment. I remember when Melissa ran her blog – Urban Gets Diesel. It changed the game for so many people who were looking for a resource that wasn’t either gym-based, overtly scientific or written by some jacked blow-hard doesn’t-take-his-own-advice asshole. My friend Ceren, who lives in the US, extolled it’s virtues and says she had some really meaningful discussions with Melissa.

Things changed again when Whole9 was launched, it instantly became a valued and respected resource for all things nutrition, health & longevity based – what I associate with Paleo. Melissa and Dallas’ creation of the Whole30 has made a significant difference to countless people in our community. Our community? Aye. Us lot. All us lifters, Paleo eaters, CrossFitters and endurance athletes that interact all over the world in person or electronically.

So Gary posted he was going to give the Whole30 a bash. He wanted to know if anyone else was in. Naturally, I said I’d do it. I am pretty strict anyway, but everyone can do with tightening up their eating game, especially when you have an annoying skin issue that flares up every now and again – like me. I’ve pretty much identified dairy as the cause, but with recent indiscretions like 85% dark chocolate, ice cream, under-sleeping, stress and the introduction of new things eaten at higher frequency like palm oil, brazil nuts and fucking ‘Paleo crisps’ as Gordy calls them (pre-cooked cocktail sausages), otherwise known as gluten bullets, I can’t be 100% certain dairy is the cause.

In comes the Whole30. A total nutritional cleanup operation. Gary being Gary, however, wants to call it the B.A.M.F30 – a hat tip to our little collective. He asked if there was a way we could put together a forum so anyone jumping onto the bandwagon can hang out with us and discuss the finer points of struggling to stop eating cheese or whatever. Bring on the new B.A.M.F Athletics Anti-Social Network. Up for the duration (or longer) of the B.A.M.F30. Next thing on the agenda is putting together a little resource package of the B.A.M.F30 do’s and do nots (there is no try).

Get involved.

And Stay Badassed.

Gra·tis·fac·tion

noun

Something that causes a state of thankfulness though satisfaction.

Last Post

It’s likely this will be the last post of this year, so within it I aim to encapsulate my thoughts for 2010.

It was the Best of Times, It was the Worst of Times

This year has been a series of highs and lows, as with all our lives. My year started in a pretty standard fashion, but on closing it has become the most emotionally draining of all time. Crushing if you will. Significant deaths, huge personal relationship upheaval and the constant foreboding panic of an unknowable future have led me to the highest stress levels I have ever encountered. This is normal. This is what happens to us all. It’s called life and we as humans are ill prepared to deal with the psychology of trauma and yet we survive. This post is dedicated to the thing that I feel is key to that survival.

Two Thousand and N(othing really)ine

2009 ended with a fairly significant stall in training motivation and progress. The reasons behind that have and are becoming clearer with time, but deserve a post unto themselves. Let’s just say that ‘training in all directions’ is fucking stupid. If you do it, you will eventually get to the stage when your lack of progression in anything actually measurable with leave you dispassionate, bored and finding it difficult to sustain a good mood.

Now Then

On the other hand, this year sees me now in the best shape of my life. The standards by which I quantify that are my own. That is the only standard that matters. The classic Robb Wolf “look, feel and perform” measurement has improved in all directions. I now have some lifetime training goals in sight that I would have never thought possible, I am capable of more athletically that I had previously hoped and it’s all down to one key factor.

A Training Partner

Most of the people I admire are strong as fuck and have always trained by themselves. They create programs that dominate, they lift things that would shatter the bone, snap the sinew and tear the muscles of ‘normal people’. Others move with the grace and speed of a wild cat or freight train, depending on the situation. I realise that many of you train by yourself. I did it for years out of necessity. My best friend has always been my teammate from time to time, be that preparing for a marathon, a 42 mile trail running epic, a 100 mile 24hr offroad bike ride or simply strength training in the gym. The problem has always been his work schedule and life versus mine have seldom been compatible. We love to train together, but rarely is it possible. His circumstances are now such that I barely see him. And so, most of my time under – or over – the bar was spent solo. As one does. This is your life and it’s ending one minute at a time. Go lift something heavy.

Significant Others

In the summer, Pure Gym opened in Glasgow. This was very convenient for work. I would be able to train there in the morning, have breakfast at work and then begin my day. It was at this point that a couple of colleagues showed an interest in learning to lift, as did someone I would occasionally banter with on Twitter. This is where everything changed. I had a consistent, show up (nearly) on time, same mindset, same goals, same level of commitment partner that would never let me down. Though my life outside of the gym and work was in turmoil, I could always go back to the assurances of confidence in my ability to grab one more rep.

At the same time, Twitter has really taken off. There is a micro-community of Strength & Conditioning and Paleo people, dotted all over the world that help to keep one upbeat and in sight of the big picture when you’re drowning. This is again, significant. I cannot put too much emphasis on the fact that as we strive to improve our health and longevity through thick and thin, the fact that we can now communicate with like-minded individuals all over the globe means that something (like Paleo) which up until recently left you feeling isolated and ‘screaming into the abyss’ or as Robb Wolf puts it, “feeling like the crazy guy in the toolshed with the tinfoil hat”, now you can chat freely about and not meet with the same confusion / hostility / derision (delete as appropriate).

Back to the point

A training partner. The soul reason I have progressed this far is because of their existence. We have seen good days and bad days in the gym, but when elements outside affect us inside, you can be given reassurance enough to make the only thing of any importance be the here and now.

The lift or miss.

The “Do, or do not.” As a little green guy once said.

This has made a massive difference to my approach, zeal and ability. The fact that you owe it to someone else to show up creates a loyalty to your own training that will sometime falter when training solo. It causes you to investigate things more. Working out, through and around sticking points, suggesting and receiving form tweaks, the reduction and removal of bad habits are all benefits many of us never have, because it’s likely we spend out time training solo or coaching others. The beauty of coaching someone well is when they can turn around and point out a fault with your own lifts. Now THAT is what creates gratisfaction. Someone looking at, after and out for you. A comrade. A team mate. A brother. A sister. A loved one.

As I said at the start, this has been the hardest year of my life. It has also been the most rewarding. When you have nothing else, if you have someone that will show up bleary-eyed at 08:00 on a freezing Glasgow Winter morning, ready to chalk up and shift mountains, ready to cause the problems you have outside of the gym to dissolve into insignificance, then you, my friend, have won at life. Although this year has SUCKED. Having a training partner has meant solace, banter, hilarity, extreme aggression, joy and a lot of what we call ‘going into the future‘.

To You

If you are reading this and think there’s a chance you helped me with my training, if you think you listened to me when I gave advice, you gave advice to me, you celebrated in my successes and dismissed my failures, reassured me, congratulated me and bantered with me – you’re right. This is a letter to you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Stay Badassed,

Craig, 00:48, 12/12/2010