B.A.M.F Athletics

Another post from the road. This one’s a little on the vitriolic side, quite unintentionally.

Part I is about diet.
Part II will be on training.

At some point a couple of weeks ago I found myself standing in my kitchen shouting “YES!” at the top of my lungs at my speakers. Note I used an exclamation mark. I never do that. That illustrates the fervour with which I was annunciating. I was hollering at Greg Everett. Well, I was hollering at his voice, coming out of my speakers. It was episode 81 of the Paleo Solution podcast. The one on Orthorexia Nervosa, at the point where Greg takes exception to some cunt bleating about people who ‘obsess’ about eating a ridiculously healthy diet and don’t deviate from it. Like they somehow have an eating disorder.

That is my eating disorder. Side effects can include, but are not limited to:

• Getting Leaner
• Increased Muscle Mass
• Increased Strength
• Better Athletic Performance
• Improved Immune Response

Poor me. Poor anyone who suffers the same disorder, that’s all I can say. While I watch people my age get fatter and weaker, they say I should chill out with my Paleo ‘obsession’. That and the lifting (like 4.5 hours a week is a lot). I should live a little. Mellow. Eat some pizza every so often. Or bread. Or cake. Smoke some crack (not really).

As Greg said (paraphrasing) this is the sound of the mediocre trying to drag us down to their level. It’s none of their business. Since when has anyone aspired to be middle of the road? Never. It seems, however, a great many people find themselves there. They find themselves there and they don’t like it.

I see this more as I get older. People settling for relationships / jobs / lives that they’d rather not be in, but don’t have the fucking sack to change. This is none of my business. I see it, I say nothing. It is their choice.

So then, why the fuck do I get nothing but questions about why I ‘waste my time’ in the purposeless pursuit of lifting heavy things up? What’s the point of having a strict diet that cuts out so many food options? Why WHY WHY?

Well, let’s see. Some of it’s aspirational. I have no athletic background. No genetic predisposition to greatness. I have the ability to read, learn and use an Internet connection. This has allowed me to observe people bigger, stronger, faster and smarter than me to make a case – a compelling case – for that which I pursue. I wish to get stronger and healthier as I get older. I do not wish to slide into decrepitude like the people I observe, people I love, around me. I wish to ceaselessly learn and attempt to teach anyone who will listen that it is not a fad to be either healthy or strong. In fact, as far as I’m concerned, these are the same thing.

Strengthy? Healthong? Hmmm.

Now. Is my diet restrictive? Yes. It restricts one from eating foods that will hamper performance. Am I constrained only to eat certain things? This depends on your point of view. Here’s my take. THINGS I’M ALLERGIC TO ARE NOT TO BE CONSIDERED FOOD. Nor, for that matter, should be anything that was once something else, especially if it was either previously inedible / indigestible, or pulverised factory farmed animal now featuring in a crusty bite-sized gluten pellet. Aye, that’s right.

So. I can’t consume dairy. I can’t eat gluten. My life is so tough. Waah. Once people start to understand that they walk around feeling like minced bullshit on a daily basis, perhaps they’ll realise that eating shite isn’t a good idea. Sure, it’s fun and normal. The sooner the realisation comes down that they are eating items unfit for human consumption (or digestion) the sooner they may realise that the guy sitting in work with his ‘box of ingredients’, who just happens to be one of the oldest, leanest, certainly the strongest, who has never taken a sick day, seldom gets even a cold might not be in misery with his ‘restricted diet’. It might be that the only misery he faces is why people will incessantly question him, while at the same time bemoaning the fact he is always talking about it.

Now. You can read that previous paragraph in two ways. There’s a right way and a wrong way. The right way is:

“Look! I am strong, lean and healthy. You should try this!”

The wrong way is:

“Look! I am stronger, leaner and healthier than you. This makes me superior to you. In every way. You should feel inferior. Why? Because you are. In every way.”

I think that’s what people get. They’re either on your team or they hate you. It’s unavoidable. This is the problem when a regular person appears irregular. I think that’s what’s hard to get. These trundling Medio-crites see someone who will attempt to change their life for the better and take instant exception to it.

Not so with an athlete. Athletes are expected to strive to perform as well as they possibly can. If an athlete had a performance-based diet, nobody would think twice about it.

For many years I’ve been accused of being hardcore. Compared to what? A fucking cream egg? I could list pretty much every one of the @BAMFathletics or the @craigzielinski followers, and the people I follow with those accounts and tell you exactly how many ways they are hardcorer (that’s right) than I. People like you. YOU. You’re reading this right now and sitting there with a better deadlift, a better Fran time, a quicker marathon, a greater mind for 80′s movies, the ability to play guitar, a better knowledge of fucking UNIX – something. I may be a little jealous of that. Rather than hate you for it, I aspire to be like you. You keep me going. I think you are RAD.

Rubbish people can’t do this. They just can’t. They will hate you for what you are.

Fuck those people.

The ‘everything in moderation’ argument – which I have heard throughout my life – is the sole refrain of the underpowered. Those that lack the drive to change their situation, regardless of how much encouragement, information or horsepower you offer them.

Don’t listen to them. Never let them convince you to go nowhere.

Stay Badassed.